photo credit: Pintrest
She is taught to grow up and get married and forget about seeking happiness because time is not on her side. As a wife, she is expected to harbour her struggles and pains in order to save her marriage. When things aren’t going well, she is taught to cry at night when she is alone and during the day she is forced to smile as if everything is alright.
When she decides to speak out about the problems in her marriage, her fellow women begin to school her about how she is not allowed to wash her dirty linen in public. Others will remind her how a woman is supposed to endure pain, suffering and maltreatment to save her marriage.
She is taught to be submissive and that the man is superior to her. He marries her and decides when to end the marriage or relationship without any explanation; most likely because he is in love or has met someone else. But she dares not. She sacrifices a lot in order to protect her children. She is taught to remain steadfast in her marriage. The man chooses when to take care of the children or not. He can choose to cut all ties with the woman when he deems fit.
Her strength and determination during difficult times are admirable. She doesn’t rely on her husband to provide for herself and her children. She does magic with the little money that comes her way. Yet onlookers/observers automatically assume her husband is taking good care of her when she is doing well. This is so because society believes that the pride and well-being of a woman is dependent on her husband.
In today’s world where most men want to seek greener pastures, some women go as far as denouncing their marriages in order to assist their husbands travel to a foreign country to obtain ‘papers’ while she waits patiently hoping that one day just one day he will come back to her. Sometimes she waits as long as five years if not more all in vain. He can just wake up one day and decide he is done with the marriage without having to look at the sacrifices she made for him.
For some reason, he has a very short memory. He easily forgets the struggles they have been through together. He fails to recognise every effort she made in making him what he is today. Not only has he forgotten all the good times they spent together, he was to confiscate every property he had with her. He chooses When they acquire a property together, he thinks it belongs to him because he is the man of the house but when it comes to taking care of the children he becomes selective. Even when he decides to support the woman to cater for the children, he does so occasionally. He expects the woman to do the usual magic to make value for the money. Sadly, no one is interested in listening to the struggle of this broken woman until she threatens to leave the marriage. That is when you see and hear all kinds of well wishers trying to talk her out of seeking an end to her pain and suffering.
This is not just my story, it is the story of several other women in this country, in fact on the continent"' she concluded.